Three for Three

That's as in 'Three Picks for Week Three.' Why so few? Because, honestly, how many games do you feel comfortable picking this week? Half the "experts" out there are under .500, and those who are over that don't exactly have much breathing room. Still though, three? Even Ron Jaworski picks 5 games, right? Sure, which is why I'll be picking one more game each week than I did the week before, while Ronnie will be stuck on 5. Why? Because anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together can cherry-pick 5 games in week 13 and pad their record. Not I. The only 2 other rules that I'm setting forth is that (1) I have to pick the New England and Cleveland games every week, but considering the title and subheading of this blog, that should really go without saying, and (2) I'm picking the winner, I'm not picking against the spread. Why no spread? Because I went to Boston University, not sports gambling capital of the northeast Boston College, that's why.

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! The Patriots have been exposed! No Weis, no Crennel, no Bruschi, no Johnson, no Law (actually, people haven't said Law as much as I would have thought, but they always seem to include Johnson, which if you consider how often he was sidelined with injuries, is a little mystifying)! Injuries to multiple defensive backs! Corey Dillon averaging less than 3 yards a carry! Doom! Gloom!

Ben Roethlisberger is the highest rated QB in the league! Blah! Blah! Blah!

"Big" Ben threw 10 tosses last week. 10. I'm surprised he even has enough passes to qualify to be the league leader in this category. To me, this would be equivalent to Mike Myers coming out of the bullpen in the Red Sox's second game of the season, retiring one lefty, and then slipping his jacket back on and taking a seat in the dugout while the media exclaimed "He's the league leader in ERA!" In truth, Ben hasn't done anything yet this year, he hasn't been tested, and his numbers are meaningless.

Ben is Peyton-Lite. All the Pats need is one big play, and the doubt will creep in, and Ben will self-destruct.

Bold prediction: Pat's score one defensive, one offensive, and one special teams TD.
Bolder prediction: Troy Brown scores one defensive, one offensive, and one special teams TD.

Final: Pats 24, Steelers 17

Cleveland Browns @ Indianapolis Colts

As much as it pains me to say, I think Romeo Crennel and Joe Andruzzi are in for a new experience today, getting blown off the field by the Indianapolis Colts. The reason? No one excels during meaningless early games against non-contenders the way that Peyton Manning does.

Final: Colts 42, Browns 13

Cincinnati Bengals @ Chicago Bears

Chad Johnson apparently has a list of the DBs he'll face this season under a sign that says "Can they cover Chad Johnson?" (or something to that effect). He wrote 'No' next to his first two opponents. If Jerry Azumah is healthy enough to play today, Johnson should be prepared to write his first 'Yes.'

Final: Bears 24, Bengals 10